This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm both gender and math confused
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
