In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
