Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize