There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize