:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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