oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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