it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
