I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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