If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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