Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize