Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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