sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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