Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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