so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Watching her eat just hurts me
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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