you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
