And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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