Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
