Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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