No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Come back. Shots need mouths.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
