i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
