This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
