jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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