just come out here and I will go home with you...
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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