she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize