i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
