You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Acid is not a monday night drug
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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