Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
