We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
