He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize