i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
