Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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