once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize