I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
