Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. Thereβs a church congregation that knows all my business
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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