If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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