I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
