He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
