Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
