hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
