It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize