Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
