I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
