My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
