Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
