I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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