i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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