4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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