Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
