Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
