week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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