Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
