and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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