Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
