Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
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There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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