did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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