Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
