Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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