i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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