Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
