and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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