By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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