guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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