I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
