I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
