I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
