But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
