By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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