True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
