Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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